Without without.

I told myself that I would, whatever I chose to do, put everything into it.

In high school, I really stretched myself too thin. It really came crashing down by junior year. I was trying to do Key Club, Academic Decathlon, and the Speech and Debate team, not to mention handling school courses, SAT classes, and piano. Because I couldn't devote myself enough to each one, I missed out fully experiencing what each had to offer. I got cut from AcaDeca after a summer and a semester of hours of studying, I lost my election to Lieutenant Governor (and District Secretary) for Key Club, I barely competed for Speech and Debate and did poorly when I did, barely got through my classes, didn't get scores as high as I could have on the SAT, and practiced an hour or two of piano a week when it demanded at least 2 hours a day. I didn't learn as much as I could have. I wasn't as close to people as I should have been. And I was tired.

In senior year, I tried to make things different. I told myself, Key Club or Decathlon. I knew I couldn't do both, and I knew Speech and Debate, by this point, was out of the picture. I chose Decathlon and even though we might not have won, I grew so much from that experience. I got really close to my team. I spent good times with good people. I worked hard along with my teammates. And I learned so much about people and myself.

I realize that the more I invested my efforts into something, the more I got out of it. The more I invested into Key Club, the more I got better at meeting new people, taking on responsibilities, and be a leader. The more I invested into Speech and Debate, the more I learned how to write, to step out of my comfort zone, and to speak in front of people. The more I practiced piano, the more I appreciated music, the more I could play beautifully. The more I studied for Decathlon, the more I learned about my limits, my studying habits, and my determination. I cried more, struggled more, but laughed so much more than that.

I daresay that there isn't much to disagree with that.

So then, tell me, why is it so bad to invest my time into church? It's something I truly care about. And if I want to get the most out of it, then I need to put my most into it. As with anything else. That's not to say I'm in church just for myself. Rather, I want to invest my time into what I chose to do and make sure to make sure of my choice.

So you know what? Church is not sucking my life away. It is not stealing me away from having fun. Church is not harming me in some way by taking up my time. Please stop laying this double standard onto it.

You'll have to choose to put your time into something. Whether that be a business frat or a charitable cause, your classes or parties, art, music, or dance, or even just drowning your time away online on Facebook, you will choose. You may already have. One of the things I chose is my faith because I believe that God is real and I believe that influences the way I live my life. I believe in this man named Jesus, who is also God and died and rose from the dead and I believe this impacts my view of the world and of the people around me.

I decided on investing my time and efforts into my church; this church, though much vilified by many, is the one I have always wanted as a young middle school kid, torn from friends and community and made skeptical because of church politics and drama; this church that took in a freshman like me and immediately accepted me for no reason of my own; this church that decided that they should take their faith seriously even though so many have not and, consequently, ruined so many lives; this church that tries so hard to love people despite their, our, weaknesses and flaws; this church that has failed many times before, as all things have and do, but continues on as best as they can.

And if you have decided to look into Christianity, then do not do it halfheartedly. Investigate everything; do not walk away without all the answers, without the full truth.

Do what you chose to do. I realize in our non-commitment, instant-gratification society, something like that is so hard to do. Such a path is not easy and fraught with risks and pain. It may seem stupid. But I think its dumber not to commit. You will never get anything meaningful out of life if you just coast on by without choosing and doing.

As Yoda put it: Do or do not. There is no try.