Street Vendors

It's sad how often I forget how hard life is.

How often I forget how blessed and lucky I am to be living my life of mine.

hm.

I wasn't going to write/talk about this but I will now so that I won't forget this feeling.
:: today, I was looking at this necklace at a street vendor on my way back to the apartment from work.
it was pretty and I vaguely thought of buying it. I asked how much it was, with no real intention of buying it.
He said it was 7 dollars. it was actually cheaper than I thought it would be. I took a mental note and proceeded to walk away.
then the guy calls after me and asks me how much I am willing to pay.
for a second, I was confused. then I somewhat realized that he really wanted to sell it.
I refused and said I was just looking and walked away.
as I thought about the encounter, my heart began to sink.
many of these street vendors are just trying to find a way to earn an honest living.
(at least I'd like to think they are.)
I wondered how it must feel to sell something and wondered how often that happened.
and I felt that life truly is so difficult. I felt that I should go back and buy it. (ahh, I felt so bad)
I wondered how it must feel to not sell anything or to sell very little.
and I think of my parents who run a little shop and how jaded one could get as people come in and go, as people look and pass by, and sell so little - which means less money.
and as one who is somewhat supporting herself, I realize how hard it is to come by money.
How much harder when there's no financial aid, no scholarships or grants, no parents.
That necklace might have been just 7 dollars to me, but it could have been a morale booster for that guy, and just one more meal he (or his family) wouldn't have to worry about.
wow, maybe I'm thinking too much but...
but life really is hard.
street vending or running a restaurant. raising your kids so they could have better opportunities.
so they won't have to feel the way you do when people pass by and you sell little or nothing.
in this competitive, be-the-best, be-better-than-him society, I felt that this was really sad.
and yet, even if we reformed the capitalist system, it's not as if it would fix everything.
the fact is that life is unfair, we're dealt unfair cards, not born into the same situations.
some will have to fight, crawl and claw from the bottom to just achieve mediocrity.
some won't have to do anything at all.
life... really is hard.
(and financial issues is just one part of it!)

I am so so so very very blessed.
because even if I fail, I have people who would take me in.
because even if I fall, I have people who would pick me up.
because even if I'm not the best, I can still have some measure of comfort.
because so many opportunities and chances have opened up for me.
because my parents have ensured that, even though they couldn't give me everything, I could at least have the chance to grab everything myself.

and so, it's so very important to have compassion for everyone,
everyone who struggles through life.
even those who are financially secure go through much trials.
I must not let my laziness and contentment to slow me and numb me.

there is much to do.
and I am but one person living but one life.
but I know a God who multiplies,
who can turn one loaf and two fish, one child's small offering,
into meals for over 5000 people... and still have basket-fulls of leftovers.

there is much to do.
and I am but one person living but one life.
but I believe in a world where the ripples I create can turn into tsunamis.

hm.